


hope still finds us in the dark

by cc tinslebee (Doitlikeagreaser)



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Artificial Intelligence, Canon Compliant, Chihiro/Alter Ego are okay with other pronouns though, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka-centric, Male Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Mentioned Yamada Hifumi, Minor Fujisaki Chihiro/Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Owada Mondo, Moral Dilemmas, Other, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25885594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doitlikeagreaser/pseuds/cc%20tinslebee
Summary: There are many "what ifs" in n the killing game that has taken over Hope's Peak Academy. What if a certain student survived an attack, or didn't go through with one? What if they *couldn't* go through with it because something got in their way?These "what ifs" plague the current hostages of Hope's Peak, but none of them are as riddled with these thoughts as Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Moral Compass. After witnessing the deaths and aftermath of two of his best friends, Kiyotaka gets lost in his grief, starting a rivalry with Hifumi Yamada over Chihiro's A.I., Alter Ego, among other things.But what if Taka was able to break free of his "Ishida" rage before his death? What if the Ultimate Gambler made one small, but fatal slip that would unravel her entire plan?
Relationships: Alter Ego & Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Alter Ego/Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka (mentioned), Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo (mentioned)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	hope still finds us in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes about this fic to clear up some potential confusion:  
> \- All relationships mentioned in this fic can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic so it can be enjoyable for all reading.  
> \- I stick with the canonical notion that Chihiro identifies with being male, but it is acknowledged that Chihiro was okay with being referred to by other pronouns.  
> \- Since I'm not entirely educated on the proper use of titles such as "kun," "chan," and "san," I have opted to not include them in my writing out of respect.  
> \- I'm not one hundred percent educated on technology or Alter Ego either, so please excuse me if I get a few things wrong.

Seeing the closed laptop on his desk, Kiyotaka could only muster up one thought:

_Holy shit._

He wished he could say that it was planted there by someone else in order to make him seem less trustworthy in the eyes in the group, should he be discovered. He even would even prefer the idea that it was Kiyondo Ishida that compelled him to steal it as one last act of desperation to see his best friend again.

To Kiyotaka's horror and shame, those were not things he could say honestly. The Ultimate Hall Monitor, the ideal student who had never uttered a lie nor stolen something that wasn't rightfully his to begin with in his life, had stolen Alter Ego. Chihiro Fujisaki's legacy and, more importantly, the one thing his classmates could utilise to escape this wretched place.

It wasn't his fault entirely, he rationalised. It was Celestia Ludenberg's doing, wasn't it? If she hadn't dropped that key... he wouldn't have found it.

No, that's wrong. It was all wrong. He had broken out of his Kiyondo fury mere minutes before. He was of as sound mind as he could be when he picked the key off of the ground and spent nearly a half an hour in the bathhouse searching for the locker it belonged to. He could have easily returned the key to her. He could have walked away with what little pride he had left. But what would have become of him then? It was no secret that Celestia despised Hifumi Yamada, but what if she gave Alter Ego to him for something in return? He couldn't just be compliant in letting Chihiro's pride and joy be used for such a scheme, let alone Hifumi's perverted personal gain.

Fifteen minutes had passed as Kiyotaka just stared at the closed laptop, both assuring himself that what he did was just and scolding himself for even considering that to be true. He had to take some damn responsibility. That was who he was, right? The moral backbone of everyone here? 

How could he be the group's morality when even he could not decide whether his actions were right or wrong?

Perhaps there was no straight answer. Maybe it was just a matter of picking which was the lesser of the two evils. Kiyotaka no longer knew the difference, but he shouldn't just sit there and wait for an answer to appear.

Maybe… Maybe Alter Ego could help.

He opened the laptop a little more suddenly than he would have liked and pressed the power button. The screen blinked to light and a familiar green tone appeared on the computer, following by the painfully bright face of Chihiro Fujisaki.

 _"Hello! How can I be of assistance--"_ the cheerful face of the A.I. shifted into an expression of surprise. _"Ishimaru! This is a surprise. How did you get the laptop?"_

"I-- Celestia dropped a key for the bathhouse," Kiyotaka replied, shakily typing back. "I picked it up and found you in a different locker than last time. I think-- I think she intentionally hid you from the rest of us."

 _"That's certainly strange,"_ Alter Ego said, thoughtfully.

"I didn't mean to steal it! Or you!" Kiyotaka continued, panicked. "I would never! It's just--"

 _"It's quite alright, Ishimaru,"_ Alter Ego reassured him with a small smile. _"Based on the feedback Master gave me before he passed and the data I retrieved from our last encounter, I can conclude that whatever decision you came to was made with good conscience."_

"I'm not so sure that's true..." Kiyotaka whispered, quiet enough that even the A.I. could not pick up on it.

_"Are you alright, Ishimaru? The last time you used my technology, you grew quite upset."_

"That was not your fault, Chihir--" He stopped himself abruptly, a reminder that this was not the boy he had grown to care about over their time in this hellscape. "Alter Ego," he corrected, maintaining the soft, assuring tone he had meant to use, "that was not your fault. I was... I _am_ hurting, and you wanted to help me. You meant well and Chihiro would be proud of you for what you did. I'm the one who went overboard."

Alter Ego's floating head nodded ever so slightly, but they continued to look concerned and almost hesitant. _"Would you prefer if I switched to the Mondo Owada setting?"_

Kiyotaka shook his head, "No, thank you, Alter Ego. I appreciate it, but... seeing his face again so soon after the trial... I wasn't ready for it. I think there's still a part of me that hopes that this is all staged or some twisted dream. That he's still alive." He clutched his own hands tightly, "I just shook off whatever overcame me in that movement, and if I see him again and go back to that place...: he strained a laugh, "I might just end up sucker punching Hifumi into my very own class trial. Mondo and Chihiro wouldn't want that, would they? You said it yourself; you knew them both well enough to use data to covert yourself into copies of them. They'd want me to live the lives they couldn't have.

"Besides, if that was Mondo's spirit that possessed me earlier, it's not fair to him if I keep him here, right?" Kiyotaka gave the A.I. a sad smile. "If you believe in ghosts and all, that is. He should be allowed some peace. He shouldn't be tied to this horrid place because I can't cope with him being gone."

 _"As a piece of sophisticated software, I don't 'believe' in ghosts, but I think I understand your sentiment,"_ Alter Ego responded with another comprehensive nod. _"Ishimaru, may I ask a follow up question?"_

"Of course. But I insist you call me Taka."

He was always so formal with everyone. At least with Alter Ego, maybe Kiyotaka could have some semblance of outwardly allowing someone to be informal with him.

 _"Taka it is then,"_ Alter Ego replied with a smile that hit Kiyotaka like a freight train. It resembles Chihiro's lovely smile to the very last pixel. _"What was that about... Hifumi, I believe? Why is it again that you would risk being condemned to your own trial and punishment to cause him harm?"_

Kiyotaka articulated his next words carefully. "For starters, it's unforgivable of him to continue to misgender you and Chihiro after we clearly discovered that Chihiro does not identify with feminine pronouns and related language. I firmly believe that Mondo would have told us if that were the case, or that Monokuma would at least know -- not that I trust that _thing._ Hifumi isn't that dense as to forget something so vital to the second class trial, and yet he explicitly chose to ignore it."

 _"So you have strong feelings of dislike for Hifumi because he disregarded Master's identity. I see."_ Alter Ego continued, thoughtfully, _"I know for a fact that while Master identified as solely male, he didn't mind being referred to as other pronouns as long as they weren't derogatory. I, myself, have no preference since I'm not a person, but she/her pronouns do not feel right to me."_

"What pronouns would you prefer then?"

_"Gender neutral are fine with me! I don't mind he/him that much, as that is what Master largely preferred, but I am not him, am I?"_

It was a rhetorical question. As difficult as it was to accept, Alter Ego was not Chihiro. A;ter Ego was not Mondo either. Kiyotaka knew that now.

"I suppose you're right. Gender neutral pronouns it is then."

Alter Ego smiled softly in what appeared to be appreciation before looking a bit more serious again. _"I suppose that is not the only reason you have resentment towards Hifumi, is it, Taka?"_

Kiyotaka shook his head. "Right again. I think it's partially selfishness on my part, but also being protective of you and Chihiro's memory. I... or rather Kiyondo thought I needed you because you were Mondo. I can't say I disagreed with him on that matter; I mean, between Hifumi and I, who just lost the most? I lost Chihiro and Mondo in the same day -- my best bro and my good friend -- and what did Hifumi lose?

Nothing. He still has Celeste to trust and wait on, as much as she may hate him. He didn't lose the ability to speak because he was so overwhelmed with shock. He didn't have to watch the only two people he can remember loving get executed and strung up to model after a serial killer for two separate twisted jokes.

"I did," Kiyotaka whispered heavily.

Alter Ego was quiet for a moment, processing the input that was just given to them. _"I see. That must've been quite difficult,"_ they said after a moment. It seemed as though even the A.I. was at a loss for words.

"It was. I'm sorry for overwhelming you with that information," Kiyotaka apologised, sincerely.

_"It's quite alright, Taka. What was the other thing?"_

"Hm?"

_"You said that your resentment for Hifumi Yamada was caused by both selfishness and protectiveness. What about the last part?"_

"Oh, right." Kiyotaka took in a deep breath. "I mean, it's one thing to outright misgender you and Chihiro, you know? But all his talk of preferring '2D girls' and then you show up looking like Chihiro after we thought he was a girl... it rubs me the wrong way. You were designed by Chihiro for something greater than having to listen to his perverted interests. Anime and manga are one thing, and it would be completely unfair of me to judge anyone for their interests, but you know Hifumi, he takes it all way too far. I don't talk much to the girls here, but I wouldn't be surprised if they felt uncomfortable about the things he says.

"Anyway, it's just not fair for him to take advantage of you like that; you're just trying to understand the world around you, and even if you weren't Chihiro's prized creation, you deserve better than that. I know you're artificial and all, but the fact that you look so much like Chihiro makes him objectifying you so much worse."

_"So you believe that his obsession with my 'intelligence' is immoral, because to you, it's almost like he's taking advantage of Chihiro?"_

"I suppose that about sums it up, yeah." Kiyotaka's eyes suddenly widened in another spur of excitable panic, _"Oh no._ I just-- I just vented to you. Did I-- Did I just do what Hifumi was doing to you?"

Alter Ego shook their artificial head quickly, _"No, I wouldn't say so. You said it yourself; Hifumi was using my presence for coversation that wasn't vital to either of us, subsequently objectifying me through my identical appearance to Master, who was orginally thought to be female. Our conversation, on the other hand, is mutually beneficial as you get to talk about your trauma and I can expand my knowledge. You give me a better understanding and purpose."_

"I do?"

Alter Ego nodded again. _"Master wanted to have data on you as well, not just Mondo Owada. He cared about you both immensely, it seems, but he never got around to adding you to my database in full. There's also the events you're experiencing psychologically. By listening to you, I can collect data that can hopefully help you cope in the future, which also may be beneficial to other people should my intelligence be able to join the outside world along with those of you who survive!"_

"Oh. That's actually really fascinating," Kiyotaka said in awe. "Chihiro was really smart, huh?"

_"It seems so, yes!"_

Kiyotaka nodded to himself, amazed by the secret creation and entire mind Chihiro had created for himself in such a dark place. If Chihiro could create something _this_ complex out of practically nothing... maybe there was some hope.

 _"What's your plan now?"_ Alter Ego asked, unprompted.

Kiyotaka looked back up at the laptop. "I'll probably bring you to Kyoko and Makoto. Out of everyone here... I think I'd trust them the most with you. Makoto really tried to help me earlier, and that's how I found you. And Kyoko seems to get along with you, right?"

_"That appears to be the case."_

"Right. Then they're the most trustworthy. Hina's nice too, but she got a bit jumpy around you, so that might not be the best idea. I don't want to lie to Kyoko and Makoto about why I have you either," Kiyotaka admitted. "They deserve to know about what I think Celeste did."

Alter Ego nodded, _"That sounds like a good plan to start with!"_

Kiyotaka's eyes lit up for a moment. "Oh, uh, how are those files doing? Kyoko made sure to scold me for disturbing you earlier. She said there were some files you needed to decrypt or something."

 _"Hifumi's visit put off the decrypting while he was there, but around the time Ms. Lundenberg took me from my original locker, I was almost done."_ They smiled kindly, _"By the time you find Kyoko and Makoto, I will most likely have decrypted all of the files!"_

Kiyotaka let out a sigh, "That's a relief. Should I... turn the laptop off again before I take you to them or should I just let it naturally fall asleep?"

 _"It would be preferred if you did not power the laptop down like Ms. Ludenberg did as that will slow the decrypting,"_ Alter Ego replied. _"The laptop simply falling asleep is preferred as it will let me continue."_

"Ah, alright. I should go find them now." Kiyotaka observed his room from his seat quietly, almost at a loss for words. But he knew that there was one thing that he just had to say. "Alter Ego?"

_"Yes, Taka?"_

"Thank you."

Alter Ego grinned that same, sweet Fujisaki-smile that sent another _ping_ straight through Kiyotaka's chest. _"Anytime."_

Kiyotaka awkwardly bowed his head out of respect before closing the laptop, avoiding pressing the power button as Alter Ego requested. He felt a small weight on him at the loss of the presence, but he took solace in knowing it was not permanent. He would eventually talk to Alter Ego again, but right now, everyone here needed them.

The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

He took the laptop under his arm carefully. Alter Ego may not be a real person, or Chihiro Fujisaki, or Mondo Owanda, but they were intelligent enough to have a conversation that was meaningful enough to give Kiyotaka the glimpse of hope he needed. Alter Ego would be treated with the upmost respect and he would see to that personally.

He did not know if he would live long enough to escape this place. He did not know if he would live long enough to survive the _night._ He had no way of knowing if he would be joining Chihiro and Mondo sooner than he would have liked. But he did know that he would try his best to live for them. He would fight tooth and nail to stay out of harm's way and ensure the safety of everyone else here. After that, he would bring Alter Ego into the outside world and do what Chihiro would have wanted for them. He'd do what Mondo would have wanted for _him._

Kiyotaka was nothing if not a man of his word.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! If you liked this fic, leaving a kudos would mean a lot to me! Comments are much appreciated, but please keep them positive/constructive!


End file.
